I'm going to jail i love you
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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