Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
