First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
