I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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