omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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