its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize