he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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