so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
