Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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