She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
