Plan B is the new Plan A
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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