come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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