Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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