So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
