Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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