I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
