I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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