sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
