I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
