"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
