ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
