The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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