I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
