theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
