You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
