You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize