I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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