mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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