I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
