it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
