question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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