Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
