he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
