Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
As shirtless as possible
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The air taste purple.
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