I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize