i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
