How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
