Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
