he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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