Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
