so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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