My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
