I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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