My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
