just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
