dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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