Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
