I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
