Who wears a wallet chain?!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
