last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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