how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
