I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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