But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
