we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
