brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
