u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
