Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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