i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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