so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize