I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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