you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
