I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
