Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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