Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize