i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
