He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
