You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
