Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize